Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Last supper

Currently studying artworks on The Last Supper in my art and censorship class.

Pretty hilarious what some people do. Catholics are always angry, has anybody noticed? They're always waving things at you like "Argh! Abortions are bad" and "Jesus is white". It's like they have PMS all the time. I can say this because I'm Catholic. However I hereby denounce the Pope. How can you be against condoms and abortions? That's why Africa is all screwed up you deludenoids. Sometimes I wonder about the intelligence level of the Pope. It's like "well I'm not very smart so I'll become a Pope, that way nothing I say has to make sense."

Don't get me wrong, Jesus represent. It's just the structure of the Catholic church that confuses me. They're hypocritical and contradictory. I know lets Baptise babies at the age of zero so they are forced to be Catholic forever! Seriously though, funk up church and I'll go there. Sub contract Ladyhawke to write the hymns, she's already halfway there.

Anyway back to my point. Here are some last suppers for your enjoyment.

Cheers

Yo mama's last supper
http://artistheartofnothing.blox.pl/resource/Renee_CoxYo_Mamas_Last_Supper.jpg
Zombie last supper
http://www.myconfinedspace.com/watermark.php?src=wp-content/uploads/2007/01/satan-last-supper.thumbnail.jpg
Poker last supper
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_rtOXMZlMTkg/R5LRBSggYGI/AAAAAAAAAqU/wPlSJW64FkM/s400/Last-Supper-Craps-Table.jpg
Animal last supper
http://eternallycool.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/animal-last-supper.jpg
Last pancake breakfast
http://www.burkhartstudios.com/gallery/painters/detzner/last_supper.jpg
Star wars last supper
http://www.io.com/~o_m/omworld/images/blog/05-05/last_jedi_supper.jpg
Sam Taylor Woods last supper
http://www.jesus21.com/portal/img/wrecked.jpg

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

My sisters' blogs....

Can I just give my sisters' blogs a shoutout

You can find SJ at http://www.tigertigerlions.blogspot.com/

and Dom at http://www.domfoolery.blogspot.com/

Cheers

Australian politics are shit

Australia: land of equal rights and opportunities.

What utter bullshit.

We brag about our tolerance of differences whilst being hypocritical with our restrictive laws. There is nothing equal about Australia at all. As far as we're concerned gays can go to hell, migrants back where they came from and non-Christians are wrong. How can we call ourselves advanced when current attitudes towards differences are no more ridiculous than when we used to strike people for being left handed?

A friend of mine who has been is Australia for 18 years is now on a year long waiting list to become Australian. To succeed she has to memorise a list of Australian related facts and figures which many of us born here don't know. What is the origin of the word Australia? What is our biggest river? These two are my fave:

14. Which of the following are Australian values?
a. Men and women are equal
b. `A fair go'
c. Mateship
d. All of the above

15. Australia's values are based on the ...
a. Teachings of the Koran
b. The Judaeo-Christian tradition
c. Catholicism
d. Secularism

Aren't we perfect? With our population sitting around 22 million we "squeeze" 2.8 people in every square km. So we have about 400m square (very roughly) each to dance in. Monaco on the other hand manage to fit almost 17000 people in every square km. We have room.

So then there's religion right. Why should Christians be allowed to celebrate Easter and Chrisco whilst all the other religions have to work through all their holidays? Thats crap. You should be allowed like four religious holidays a year plus government public holidays like ANZAC day and when you get a job you just sign up for your religious holidays.

And don't get me started on gay rights. WHy shouldn't they be allowed to get married? Because it's not natural? That's crap for some people it is natural. Because God invented Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve? You fuckheads! That story isn't even true, it's a myth, the Christians even believe that. It is designed to teach people about life. Anyone ever think that maybe God created gay couples (and Madonna) so that heaps of orphans could have families? So that people could grow up with tolerance maybe?


This country is ridiculous. If I think of anymore things that create unequality I'll add to this later but until then smarten the fuck up.

Gab out

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Beyonce

Has anyone noticed that Beyonce Knowles has released about 40 songs in the last two weeks? What's up with that? Someone said to me today "Have you heard Beyonce's new song?" and I said "Halo?" and they're like "No, her NEW one". I swear she just released Halo yesterday. I'm starting to think that there is no explanation except that Beyonce is trying to take over the world. Starting with radio. Then Television. Then all the other forms of media. Then politics. Etc. Etc.

Things we would have to do if Beyonce ruled the world:

- Get a fro. This worries me because even after using a can of hairspray I can't keep a ringlet in for over 3 minutes.

- Pump our booties with booty juice so that we can shake it. I have already done this in anticipation for takeover. I swear. My booty is not naturally grande.

- Oprah would be compulsory. I'd rather die. Actually no, because if I died Oprah would probably do a special on me. And donate money to my children.

- We will all have to betray our friends in favour of a solo career just because we have more talent. If we dump Kelly Rowland and that other girl just because they have disadvantaged voices what about the one legged people?

- We will have to love our mothers. Ew. And let them dress us.

- We will be allowed to replace our friends with the attitude of "she's black too, no one will notice."

- We will have to pretend we're single even after our 50th wedding anniversary.

- Every single woman with any slight pigment in their skin will consider themselves African American and we will all live like sisters. In a box to the left

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Twitter

Just joined Twitter.

Of all people to convince me to join twitter it was one of my lecturer who hosted the first international marketing lecture and then handed us over to some American who some say speaks to fast. This feeds my fears of abandonment.

So then I decide that Twitter is bullshit. WTF? It's just Facebook status' and not interesting commenting opportunities.

My only friend is Perez Hilton. I learned that he had a five minute orgasm yesterday and it was also his birthday. I will lock this into my brain to use in future situations when useless knowledge comes in handy. Maybe it will be a question on Temptation. "On Perez Hilton's 31st birthday how long did he get off for?" I could win money

There is a good chance that I will never use Twitter again. However what else is a girl to do when she is sitting in a lecture (even though it's actually a quite interesting lecture, who would've known that Asians love rats? And not for nutritional purposes. They have not had the plague)?

Lecturer is now talking about what is attractive. He said that fat people are hot cos it means they're rich. The lecturer is chubby. He must be middle class. I'll put that in my back pocket just in case I can't find a sexy obese man to be my sugar daddy.